Here is my second attempt. Some feedback I received last time was that it seemed very memorized and not natural. I used a similar script, but focused less on memorizing and more on the message.
I got some positive feedback about my enthusiasm and eye contact, which I think are both important aspects and things I tried to maintain on this second attempt. It was also really nice to hear complete strangers comment on my passion. This really is my life and I am thrilled that it translates into the projects I am doing in this class. I believe it will also transition as I take the next step and create the center.
Hey Jillian,
ReplyDeleteGreat job here with your second attempt. It's easy to see that you've taken your prior critiques into real consideration as you've delivered a very enthusiastic and passionate elevator pitch. It's great that you've been able to share with us what is a real endeavor in your life and I only wish that you find all the success possible on your journey.
Thanks!
DeleteIn your elevator pitch, the audience can definitely feel your passion and excitement regarding this opportunity. I love the use of numbers to back up of the idea which easily caught my eye to why this is such a great opportunity. Not only do you explain it very well but also you call on the audience to join you which I believe is a key aspect to elevator pitches.
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